Life goes on
by ifightjohnswar
Summary: It's three months after Sherlock has commited suicide and John has realised that life goes on, even if your best friend ever has died. He goes back to Barts and gets a job.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One**

John woke up. He hadn't slept at all that night, only able to think of what had happened. Even three months after. He walked into the living room. It was still a mess, although not the same. Papers, food and plates spread on the ground everywhere, but the human body parts and experiments where all gone. John stood there for a second, thinking about why he was still here. But gave up and jumped on the coach. For fifteen minutes he lay there without moving. Then miss Hudson came in.

"John come on don't be so sad. I know it seems impossible, but life goes on". She automatically started to tidy up the room. "And when are you going to clean up all this mess".

John murmured something and crawled himself up even more. "Would you like some tea?", asked miss Hudson. "I will put on the kettle on and make you some breakfast. I will leave it in the kitchen", she continued, knowing he would not answer.

Somewhat later miss Hudson left, leaving John's breakfast behind on the kitchen table. John decided it would not help him laying there all day, he walked to the kitchen. When he saw it, his face formed a little smile. Miss Hudson had cleaned most of the room and on the table was set out a proper English breakfast. John sat down and started to eat. For three months now, most of his days were spent like this. Waking up, breakfast, if he was hungry, a stroll down the street, crawling up on the coach, dinner, which consisted of snacks most of the times, and then he would go to bed, without being able to close his eyes for even a second. 'Life goes on', he thought. 'Life goes on'. Miss Hudson was right, he had to pick up his old life, however impossible that seemed.

Today he would visit Barts hospital again. Their medical director had also been at the funeral and had told John he could get a job with them anytime. Molly had also agreed and told him he needed it, especially now that he didn't have any income. John knew that within two months he would be completely broke. So a job would be really nice. He didn't like the thought of going back there, and seeing Molly would probably remind him of... But he had to.

After John had finished his meal he put on his coat and got his walking stick. "Thanks for the breakfast miss Hudson. I'll probably be out till dinner", he shouted before he opened the door. Once on the street he got a cab and told the cabbie to drive to Barts.


	2. Chapter 2: Beginning

**Chapter Two: Beginning**

John had told the cabbie to stop in front of Barts, he knew he wasn't ready to go to the other side yet. The cab stopped. They had arrived at Barts. John looked out of the side window. He could see the hospital lying in front of him, confronting him with everything he could not forget. He swallowed. "That'll be 5 quid than, sir", said the cabbie a bit impatiently. "Ow yes of course. Uhmm here", John said waking up. He gave the cabbie 5 pounds and opened the door with a slight hesitation. He took a deep breath and looked up. Everything around the hospital reminded him of his friend. He was still not sure if this had been the right decision. He favoured to turn around immediately and get a cab back to 221B, but He knew he had to do this. He had to confront himself with everything, otherwise he would never get over this.

With another deep breath he took his first steps towards the entrance. 'I have to do this', was all he could think of. He went in, through the revolving doors. After his first step in the building he froze. He couldn't do this. He could smell him, and everywhere he looked he could see him walk. For a second his breathing stopped, just like his heart. He wanted to swallow the lump in his throat but he couldn't. For fifteen seconds he didn't move anything at all.

"Sir, sir... Sir can I help you?". John could heard a vague women voice calling for his attention. John startled. "Sir", the nurse stood next to him. "I'm sorry. I just... I was looking for mister James Morimer, the medical director. I am here for a job interview". "Oke just wait over here", the nurse guided him to a little room with a group of chairs arranged in what was probably supposed to be a circle. "Would you like some water. You look like you need some", the nurse said. John nodded. "Yes, please". The nurse walked out of the room and came back with a cup of water. "Here you go", the nurse said with a smile. "I will inform mister Mortimer now, just wait here". John nodded. He took a sip from his water. He looked around and saw a newspaper lying on the table in front of him. He grabbed it and started looking for interesting articles. On page 5 he found a picture of... him. John was surprised, why would they put a picture of-

_"It's now exactly three months ago since the 'amazing ' Sherlock Holmes committed suicide and jumped of St. Bartholomew's hospital. He didn't see any more use in his life since everyone had found out he was a fraud. The actor Richard Brooke, who Sherlock had hired to play Moriarty, hasn't been seen after the event either. People are asking themselves if Sherlock really was a fraud. There are even places where posters and graffiti with texts like 'Sherlock was real. Moriarty was a fraud.' and 'Sherlock should have died a hero.' are found._ _His most closest friend, dr. John Watson, sadly couldn't be contacted. But some people say he is involved in this new movement"_

John couldn't believe this. "The bastards. Cowards! You betrayed him". He heard someone beside him cough. "John", said James Mortimer. John looked up confounded, he cleared his throat. "Hello James. I guess the nurse has told you why I am here". The medical director shook his hand. "Yes, yes. Welcome back dr. Watson", the director smiled. "I hope it hasn't been too difficult to come back here. I heard from the nurse you had a little problem when walking in". John looked away. Of course he had difficulties with coming here again. Everything here reminded him of sh-... "No, no. I am fine. I was just a little overwhelmed. Nothing more", John lied. The medical director gave him a reassuring smile. "It's oke John. I can understand it. But we better continue our conversation in my office".

James Mortimer guided John to his office. He pointed John at the seat in front of his desk. John sat down, James Mortimer on the other side.

"Now John, I am glad you finally considered my proposal", began James.

"I thought I should pick up my old life again", said John.

"I think that's indeed the best you can do", said James. "But don't be too enthusiastic, though. It will only get you in a deeper hole than you already are".

"I think I can manage"

"I want to believe you, but you said the same thing when you came back from Afghanistan", you could hear the worry in his voice. "So this time we better take time to built things up".

John looked away. Last time he had come here aswell, thinking he could just pick up the threads he had left behind, but he had ended up even more depressed than before he came back. Luckily than he had met Sh-. He swallowed.

"Why don't you start off with working two days a week and gradually we will built that up to five days".

Although John rather wanted to immediately start working all days, just to be able to get his mind of It, rationally he knew he couldn't. John nodded slowly.

"Alright, that's settled than", James smiled. "You'll start tomorrow at nine o'clock in the clinic, working till five. And Thursday on the same hours. Reasonable?"

John didn't really care where he would work and for how long. He just wanted to forget.

"Yes", John said with a faked smile. "I'll be there"

John wanted to rise, but James waved him to sit down, while taking his phone with his other hand. He didn't dial a number, just pressed two keys, it must be someone in the building.

"Hello Sarah, uhm I've got Joh here and he is coming back... Yes. So can you show him around for a bit. He is working in the clinic... Yes?... Great... I will tell him to wait in the waiting room", James hang up. "Sarah will show you around and tell you what to do tomorrow. You can wait for her in the waiting room", James said now directed to John.

There was a pause and James smiled at John, as if he wasn't really sure what to say.

"John... I'm glad you're back"

John nodded seriously.

"Until tomorrow", James shook his hand and showed him to the door.

John walked into the hallway, but turned around one more time.

"Thank you for..., you know. Giving me this job", he said and he walked back to the waiting room.


End file.
